Spring forest after rain

…and as the drenching downpour faded into barely-more-than mist, the clouds began to let shine through a springtime sun—and though still gray the sky (if mottled, now and then, with blue), the leavèd trees all round flamed brighter in their verdancy than any I have ever seen…


The first line would be set on the ragged right edge of the text to mark its rhythmic position, were that possible.

Discussion

    • I worried a bit about that line, but I’ve spent the last week trying to come up with a word or phrase that doesn’t sound depressing but accurately described the conditions. That’s what I ended up with. Thanks!

  • Tyler thought to say:

    Oh I just meant the rhythm of ending the line with “the.” But the similar feel of subsequent lines matches and gives it a really nice lilt.

    • Ah, yes. That’s actually one reason why I wish I could get the alignment right (and I probably could have with further finagling, but I didn’t want to mess with it): it would have set you up to be expecting that more. The meter is just a simple trochaic tetrameter, with the modification that the first line is only the last half the trochee, and the last line ends at three and a half feet—so the poem as a whole is evenly weighted, but only as a whole. That’s what gives it that nice rhythm, almost falling forward.

Discussion is closed at this time.